How to Handle Hurtful Words Spoken about You

The other day I overhead someone saying something about me that was hurtful. They didn’t see me so they didn’t know I heard it... but man, did it cut deep. The reality is, we all are going to at some point have hurtful words spoken about us or to us and so how do we respond in a Christ-like manner? I'm sharing 3 tips below.

Ask the Holy Spirit for Wisdom

James 1:5-6: "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt."

Some questions to pray/reflect on:

• "Is there any truth to what they said? If so, God please reveal it now."

  • May we never be so prideful that we are no longer reflective over our own sin and shortcomings. Maybe, you have done something unintentionally that was hurtful to them. Ask God to open your eyes to any areas in you that you can improve.

  • If you ask the Holy Spirit if there is any truth, the answer may also be no. Sometimes you haven't done anything wrong, the other person is just operating out of their own flesh/emotions. In this case, ask God to guard your heart from any words spoken over you. Denounce them and remember that what God says about you matters way more than what people say.

Decide if it Needs to be Addressed

Proverbs 15:1 "A gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath."

Some thoughts to consider as you decide if it needs to be addressed or not:

• What is the motive for addressing it?

• Is addressing it necessary for the relationship to be healthy?

• Are they in a place to truly hear your side or would addressing it cause more problems?

• Are you in a position to address it in a life-giving way that honors both of you?

• Sometimes, the most healthy thing to do is to bring it up to move forward. But other times, the most honoring thing to do is surrender it to God and love them anyway. It really depends on where each of your hearts are. If you aren't coming from a gentle place or if they aren't open it isn't going to be helpful. Sometimes, the Christ-like thing to do is to walk in quiet confidence, praying for them instead of fighting a battle that isn’t built on anything true.

Ask the Holy Spirit to Guide Your Future Interactions

Luke 6:27-28 “But I say to you who listen: Love your enemies, do what is good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you."

The human side of us, would love to be awkward, withdrawn and closed off when someone hurts us. God calls us to bless those who curse us. That's hard to do when you've been burned by someone. We need The Holy Spirit's help and guidance moving forward. The Spirit reminds us to “ Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

So yes, I overheard someone saying something hurtful. But you know what? I’m not dreading the next time I’ll see them. Because that’s what God does when we let Him. He softens our heart to even those who say some of the most hurtful things.

Maybe, you’re working through the hurt someone'w words caused. Maybe they do life with you day in and day out and you feel like you've got to walk on eggshells or hide when you see them coming. Maybe you want to move forward but you aren't sure now.

Let me help you.

Book a Prayer Strategy Session and I'll help you get intentional about praying for this situation and how to move forward. In this session we will, unpack what happened, and work through the three steps above.

Book your Prayer Strategy Session Now.

Use coupon code "strategy" at check-out for 25% off.

If you aren't ready for a coaching session, I want to still pray for you. Send me an email at jordantwhitlock@gmail.com and let me know how I can pray for you as you.

Prayers and Blessings,

Jordan Whitlock